The Morning After

I wish I could say that I slept well last night. First, I have to have an MRI in the middle of the night. "Hold your breath; Hold still; Are you in pain?" Then back in my bed and back in my room I try to sleep. It was the longest night of my life. Every time I fell asleep, I would have a nightmare. I would wake up about every 15 minutes all night long. I tried to figure out the meaning of my dreams and why they were so scary. I guess it was just because I was alone and scared in them and alone and scared in my hospital room.

Finally, the doctors start making their rounds. The hustle and bustle on the floor picks up and the nightmares stop, even though I drift in and out of sleep. "What day is it?" August 3rd. "Where are you?" The hospital.

My favorite nurse, Kim W. is on duty. She asks me if I feel like eating something. "I'm starving," I said. She seems a little skeptical but orders some semi-liquid breakfast. I get some kind of real thin Malto-Meal in a cup. Everything is going good until she gives me a big pill to swallow. I wouldn't be able to swallow that on a good day. I take it and within seconds, "I'm getting sick!" She gets the pan in time for me hurl. So much for that. All I want now is ice chips.

Next thing I know, I have speech therapists, physical therapists and occupational therapists coming in with me curled up in the bed ready to hurl up my ice chips. My sister, being an occupational therapist, told them to get out, there wouldn't be any therapy going on today.

Doctor Smith returns and since my family is all present, gives them the news. He takes them out to the nurses station where he can show them the slides of the MRI. To make a long story short, they were able to get most of it out. There was a small portion that was in a fissure that wasn't able to come out because he was afraid of doing more damage than good. The tumor was basically encapsulated and it didn't have any fingers or roots spreading out. Hopefully, with the Gamma Knife radiation, they will be able to kill what is left of the tumor.

Dr. Brachman had scheduled me for a PET/CT scan for that afternoon. This was about noon. They come to get me in kind of a wheel chair and take me to radiology where they "park" me between two curtains. Hunched over in my chair, I watch the girl in the office return with her lunch. She must be filling in over the lunch hour because when the phone rings, either she doesn't answer or she doesn't know anything and has to take a message. I sat there for what seemed like an eternity. I wanted to yell at the girl but didn't know if I could yell loud enough or even put together a coherent sentence. Finally, a tech comes out and tells me that the doctor didn't fill out the paperwork correctly because he doesn't know if he wants a PET scan or a CT scan. So now I have to wait for someone to come and get me to take me back to my room. Wait, wait, wait........

Overall, it was a lousy day.