The Journey Begins

"You have a tumor in your brain." That's about the only thing I remember the doctor saying in the emergency room on July 25, 2005.

Not that I didn't know that something was wrong. "I don't know what is wrong with me," was something that I had been saying for about six weeks before this. I noticed about mid-June that my handwriting was changing to a scrawl. I remember wondering if it was a sign of old-age.

On June 20, I had an interview with USAA. I prepared for it knowing they put an emphasis on outstanding customer service. I called my best friend, Luanne, to see if she had any training material she could loan me. I picked it up at her house and studied it all weekend for my interview on Monday. I totally blew the interview. I couldn't remember a thing. After the interview walking to my car, I was going over everything in my mind. That's when it hit me; that was the worst interview I had ever done in my life. I wouldn't hire me. I called Luanne. "I don't know what it wrong with me. I blew it!"

The following weekend, I was cleaning Jeff's (my son) condo. It's not something that I normally do, but I was hosting a very special party at his condo that week. I was carrying clothes baskets up and down his stairs and I was getting winded. "Huh, I guess I need to get back to the gym," I thought. Little did I know it would go steadily down hill from there.

My oldest son Nick and his wife Elizabeth were coming for the party with my brand new Grandson Jadyn. This was to be my first look at him and I was so excited. Everything went fine as far as I remember.

My sister Jan called me from Arkansas the weekend of July 4th. She had a two-month-old Shiz Tzu that had been rescued and she wanted to know if I wanted it. The rescue always calls her because she can't say no and they know that she treats animals like they are people. She had already taken two from the rescue and I told her if she ever came across another to let me know. I told her yes after begging and pleading with my husband, Larry.

The next obstacle was getting the dog from Arkansas to Phoenix. Sometimes they are able to hitch a ride across country, but no one was coming west, so we were on our own to get "Macy" out here. It dawned on me that the rodeo in Attica, Kansas (my home town) was the last weekend in July. Jan had mentioned that she was planning to go to that because a lot of her classmates would be there. After laying out a plan to fly into Oklahoma City and driving to Attica, Larry gave the plan his blessing. I called Jan to tell her my plan. I got the answering machine. I began to tell her what I was planning. I couldn't find the words and it came out a garbled mess. Finally I blurted, "Oh, just call me." Later she would tell me that she just thought I had one glass of wine too many.

Around mid-July Larry came across an office chair at Office Max. Since his has been falling apart for a couple of years, he decided to buy it. When we got it home and out of the box, he assigned the task of putting it together to me. Usually an easy enough chore for me. I just sat there and looked at it. I couldn't figure out what to do with it. I just laughed it off. I still didn't think anything was wrong with me even though at this point I was really having problems with my speech.

Also about this time, we went out to eat with our son, Jeff. I always pay for the meal because I am the only one who carries the credit card. I had the bill and was trying to figure out the tip. I just sat there and looked at it. Larry told me what to leave so I wrote it down. When I added it up, it came to less than what the meal was! "Give me that!" Larry said, "What in the world is the matter with you?"

July 23rd we had lunch with Jeff again and now my behavior was the subject of conversation. "Look at her," Larry said. "Do you think she looks right?" I smiled at Jeff. "I don't know," he said. "Her mouth looks like it is drooping on this (right) side." Later he would tell Larry I wasn't walking right either. I was kind of stooped over and walking with kind of a shuffle.

Sunday, July 24th I was having lunch with my three best friends, Luanne, Dena and Tina. It was a reunion of the cabin buddy's. Every year, we used to go up to my cabin in Heber for a weekend until Dena moved and Tina got married. At lunch, I tried not to talk. Just sit there and smile. That in itself was enough to send up a red flag because I always have something to say. Luanne told everyone that I had a new Grandson. They wanted to know what his name was. "It's uhmmmmmmmmmmmmm, well I don't know, it's a weird name." No one said anything but I got a few blank stares. After lunch, Tina left to show houses and Dena went to the bathroom. Luanne looked at me and asked, "What is wrong with you? What are you taking?" "Nothing," I said, "I've just been having trouble finding the words for the past couple of weeks." She asked me to follow her and Dena back to her house. I said I would drop by but I had to go over to Ross Department store to get a "thing". "What kind of a thing?" she asked. "A thing, to go on my trip. You know it's square, to put my clothes in." "A suitcase?" "yeah."

The next day, July 25, a day I will never forget but that I hardly remember. Luanne called, she decided to take the day off. I told her I would come over that afternoon to bring her book back. When I got there, she tried to talk me into going to the doctor. "I will go when I get back to Kansas if I still am not feeling well." "I think you have had a stroke." "No, I'm going to Kansas," I said. I left to go to the bank. Our bank is located in a grocery store. I took my deposit in. I needed to get some batteries, so I picked them up and proceeded to the self check-out line. OOOOOOps! No car keys and that is where my frequent shopper's card is. "Dang! Left the keys in the car again," I thought. I throw back the batteries and proceeded to the car to retrieve my keys. When I got to the car, there are no keys. So I back-track, looking on the ground and all around. Still no keys. I go to the customer service counter and try to convey to the young man there my dilemma. I'm sure he thought this old bat was either drunk or taking drugs, but finally I was able to get it across. No one had turned them in. I continued to wander around the grocery store. By that time, I was starting to get a little scared. I realized that as goofy as I had been acting, if I had to call Larry to come and get me, my trip to Kansas would be in serious jeopardy. I ask the person customer service again if anyone had turned in my keys. Then he came up with a brilliant idea. Had I been anywhere else in the store? The bank!!!!! Gosh, why didn't I think of that? I went to the teller and after giving a vague description of the keys, I received my reward. My keys! No sooner than the keys were in my hand, my cell phone rings. It was Larry. "Where are you and what are you doing?" I explained that I had just finished my errands and was on my way home.

Now, somewhere between the time I left Luanne's and the time I got home, (about 2-3 hours), Larry and Luanne got together on the phone. Larry asked if she thought there was something wrong with me. Luanne said there was definitely something wrong with me, that I had a stroke or something and I needed to get to a doctor. Well, that was all Larry needed to hear, someone else to confirm his suspicions. As I walked through the door when I got home, he was waiting for me. "We are going to the emergency room," he said. "Oh, no I'm not!" "I just talked to Luanne and she thinks there is something wrong with you too. Either you are going with me to the emergency room or you aren't going to Kansas." What could I do?

So we load up and go to the emergency room at Arrowhead Hospital, sign in and wait. After about an hour we are escorted to a room. A doctor comes in and Larry explains that he thinks I have had a stroke because the right side of my face is drooping and I am confused and having trouble talking. The doctor asks me my version of the story. I tell him that there is nothing wrong with me but my husband made me come in before I left on vacation for Kansas, anyway that's what I meant to say; I don't know what came out. So I told the doctor, "Now that you've seen me, we'll just go." The doctor said, "You may as well forget about Kansas. You're not going anywhere." He orders a CAT scan. When it comes back, he orders chest X-rays. Finally, he comes back about 8:00 P.M. "Well," he said, "You haven't had a stroke, you have a mass on your brain. You also have a mass on your lung, although we can't tell if the two are related. Have you ever had valley fever." "Nope." The doctor continues, "Nevertheless, we can't treat you here. We have checked with Barrows Neurological Institute and they don't have any beds. Banner Good Samaritan has room. We have ordered an ambulance to take you there."

"Well isn't this special?" I'm thinking.

I call Luanne. "Well, it wasn't a stroke or TIA. I have a tumor on my brain."

Lesson 1: Listen to your body and your friends and family.